Atlas Shrugged

My favorite page from Ayn Rand's novel so far, page 127:


"Man? What is man? He's just a collection of chemicals with delusions of grandeur," said Dr. Pritchett to a group of guests across the room.
"Man's metaphysical pretensions," he said, "are preposterous. A miserable bit of protoplasm, full of ugly little concepts and mean little emotions--and it imagines itself important! Really, you know, that is the root of all the troubles in the world."
"But which concepts are not ugly or mean, Professor?" asked an earnest matron whose husband owned an automobile factory.
"None," said Dr. Pritchett, "None within the range of man's capacity."
A young man asked hesitantly, "But if we haven't any good concepts how do we know that the ones we've got are ugly? I mean, by what standard?"
"There aren't any standards."
This silenced his audience.
"The philosophers of the past were superficial," Dr. Pritchett went on. "It remained for our century to redefine the purpose of philosophy. The purpose of philosophy is not to help men find the meaning of life, but to prove to them that there isn't any."
An attractive young woman whose father owned a coal mine, asked indignantly, "Who can tell us that?"
"I am trying to," said Dr. Pritchett. For the last three years, he had been head of the Department of Philosophy at the Patrick Henry University.
Lillian Rearden approached, her jewels glittering under the lights. The expression on her face was held to the soft hint of a smile, set and faintly suggested, like the waves of her hair.
"It is this insistence of man upon meaning that makes him so difficult," said Dr. Pritchett, "Once he realizes that he is of no importance whatever in the vast scheme of the universe, that no possible significance can be attached to his activities, that is does not matter whether he lives or dies, he will become much more . . . tractable."
He shrugged and reached for another canape. A businessman said uneasily, "What i asked you about, Professor, was what you thought about the Equalization of Opportunity Bill."
"Oh, that?" said Dr. Pritchett, "But I believe I made it clear that I am in favor of it, because I am in favor of a free economy. A free economy cannot exist without competition. Therefore, men must be forced to compete. Therefore, we must control men in order to force them to be free."
"But, look . . . isn't that sort of a contradiction?"
"Not in the higher philosophical sense. You must learn to see beyond the static definitions of old-fashioned thinking. Nothing is static in the universe. Everything is fluid."
"But it stands to reason that if--"
"Reason, my dear fellow, is the most naive of all superstitions. That, at least, has been generally conceded in our age."
"But I don't quite understand how we can--"
"You suffer from the popular delusion of believing things can be understood. You do not grasp the fact that the universe is a solid contradiction."
"A contradiction of what?" asked the matron.
"Of itself."
"How ... how's that?"
"My dear madam, the duty of thinkers is not to explain, but to demonstrate that nothing can be explained."
"Yes, of course . . . only . . ."
"The purpose of philosophy is not to seek knowledge, but to prove that knowledge is impossible to man."
"But when we prove it, asked the young woman, what's going to be left?"
"Instinct," said Dr. Pritchett reverently.


Props to Morgan Jamison for forcing me to read this, I'm only about 150 pages in but so far this book is one of the most well written novels I have ever read. It is amazingly applicable to today's current society and economical situations, which is ironic since it was written in 1957. It is quite lengthy, but I would encourage anyone feeling up to the task to try and read this giant.

27 Reasons I Love Spring

27 because I ran out of good reasons around 20:

1. It's not February.
2. Christmas is far away and Valentine's is in the past.
3. Spring weather.
4. St. Patrick's Day.
5. Definition of multi-tasking at work becomes: the ability to balance researching for your fantasy baseball draft and filling out your brackets.
6. My birthday.
7. 12's over 5's
8. Hiking, campining, running, biking.
9. Frisbee, grilling, golfing, sand volleyball. (basically any excuse to be outside)
10. SXSW
11. College Football's Spring Practice .
12. Spring Break. Oh wait, I don't get one of those anymore. Damnit.
13. The person leading your bracket pool is a girl. No wait a minute, that sucks. Bad.
14. Collectively hating Duke. Wait, I love Duke. F you guys!
15. Trying to guess where the play-in game schools are located and missing by a mere 1,000 miles.
16. Seeing everyone you haven't seen in a year at church on Easter.
17. Beautifully executed back door passes.
18. Watching the offense torch the defense in Spring Practice and thinking that's a very good sign.
19. Eating and drinking outside.
20. Your national championship team losing in the Second Round. You hate it, but really it's more fun to enjoy March with your bracket torn up.
21. Deciding that St. Patrick's Day is technically St. Patrick's Week.
22. The BCS has nothing to do with deciding national championships.
23. Crying when Duke, Texas, and whatever random low seeded team I picked to go far all lose early.
24. A tradition like no other... The Masters on CBS
25. April 5, 2010: MLB opening day.
26. Knowing that no matter how ridiculous it is, that whoever is down 3 with 4 seconds left is going to make a 3-pointer to send it to OT. Happens everytime.
27. MARCH MADNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Bucket List

This is a list of things I want to do before I die. Some of these things I've already accomplished (in bold), others, I plan to in the very near future, and still others may take me a lifetime to achieve. Granted this is a work in progess, so other things will be added, as I'm sure some things I will lose interest in doing and take off at some point. Anyways, here you go... my bucket list:



See a World Cup Final in person
See UT win a National Championship in person
Graduate college
Move out of Tyler
Live in Austin
Fire a pistol
Learn to surf
Live outside of Texas for at least a year
Run a marathon
Smoke with someone famous
Live outside of America for at least a year
Write a novel
Learn sign language
Learn Spanish
Relearn Tae Kwon Do
Learn to play an instrument (piano, drums, and/or guitar)
Take dance lessons (Hip hop, ballroom, salsa)
Dive in a submarine
Tour the Coliseum in Rome
Ride a gondola in Venice
See the Acropolis and Athens, Greece
Watch a soccer game in London, England / See Stonehenge, United Kingdom
Scuba dive the Great Barrier Reef and see the Sydney Opera House, Australia
Party at Oktober Fest in Germany / drive a car on the autobahn
See the Louvre & Eifel Tower in Paris, France / see the Tour de France in person
Visit Amsterdam, Holland
Walk on The Great Wall of China
Tour the Pyramids of Giza, Egypt
Do a canopy zip line tour in the Amazon rainforest
Go to a beach in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
See St. Peter's Basilica and the Vatican, Rome
See the Kremlin in Russia
See Spain
Visit the Taj Mahal, India
Hike around the Statues of Easter Island, Chile
Visit Las Vegas
Camp at the Grand Canyon, watch a sunrise there
See the monuments in Washington DC (again)
Visit Portland, Oregon (again)
Participate in Mardi Gras in New Orleans
See a Red Sox game at Fenway in Boston
Visit Los Angeles
Take a train trip to Chicago, see the Great Lakes
See the Metropolitan Museum of Art, the Empire State Building, Ice Skate at Rockefeller center, spend NYE, climb the Statue of Liberty, see US Open (tennis) in New York City
See Niagara Falls
See a Duke game at Cameron Indoor
Visit Vancouver, Toronto, and Montreal
See Alaska (dog-sled or fly-fish depending on season)
Visit San Diego
See the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco, CA
Go to the Pike Place Market in Seattle, WA
See Mount Rushmore
Ride a helicopter in Hawaii
Camp in Redwood, Yellowstone, and Joshua Tree National Parks
Go to the College World Series in Omaha
See a PGA Major (Masters, US Open, PGA)
See a Final Four
Eat BBQ and listen to blues on Beale Street in Memphis
Visit SeaWorld
Go to the horse races
Go rock climbing
Go jet skiing in the ocean
Witness a solar eclipse
Go canoeing or kayaking
Learn to water ski
Try fencing

Back to the Basics

"A motion picture, or music, or television, they have to maintain a certain decorum in order to be broadcast to a vast audience. Other forms of mass media cost too much to produce a risk reaching only a limited audience. Only one person. But a book. . . A book is cheap to print and bind. A book is as private and consensual as sex. A book takes time and effort to consume - something that gives a reader every chance to walk away. Actually, so few people make the effort to read that it's difficult to call books a "mass medium." No one really gives a damn about books. No one has bothered to ban a book in decades."


I read this quote the other day (Chuck Palahniuk, of course) and it not only made me laugh but got me to thinking just how accurate it is. I'm even guilty of it myself, as in today's society movies, TV, and music have completely taken over the media medium and books have fallen by the wayside. Since I've moved to Austin, I've had trouble sleeping and found myself being a lot more high strung then I was in Tyler. People have told me this is typical for a transition period, living in a new place, going through the number of changes I have been. So with my free time I've been trying to figure out ways to cure this problem.

Well after I read this it occurred to me what I use to enjoy doing (even though we were more or less force to do it growing up, anyone remember AR points?) which was reading. Having to write multiple 40+ page papers, give multiple 30 minute+ presentations, and take all those tests we had to in college, I hadn't had the time or the desire to read just for my own personal enjoyment. So I picked up my signed copy of Chuck Palahniuk's "Snuff" and have been reading it ever since. I'm almost done, and plan on starting Ayn Rand's "Atlas Shrugged" afterwards. It's amazing how much more vivid reading a book can be then seeing a movie in 3D or watching the newest episode of "Lost" or "American Idol" (which for the record I do not watch either, just using them as an example). Reading a well written, thoroughly researched, insightful or entertaining book feels so much more accomplishing then tivo-ing Desperate Housewives.

Now if you don't have the time to read merely for pleasure because you are too busy reading page after page of dribble for your freshman English class or junior biology exam then I completely understand, but I highly recommend that if you get the chance to pick up a book in the near future, that you do it. It's refreshing, enjoyable, and rewarding. It also helps enlarge your vocabulary, which I can say for a lot of people has continually lessened throughout the years. So here is a list of a few of my favorite books, new and old, in case you aren't sure what you want to read once given the opportunity. Some of these you may have been required to read in school at some point, otheres you may have never heard of, but all I highly recommend for one reason or another. Also, a lot of these have been made into movies, and I must say I've yet to ever see a movie that was as good as the book was, just personal opinion.


Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
The Catcher in the Rye - J.D. Salinger
The Great Gatsby - F. Scott Fitzgerald
The Chronicles of Narnia - C.S. Lewis
To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn/Tom Sawyer - Mark Twain
Island of the Blue Dolphin - Scott O'Dell
Journey to the Centre of the Earth - Jules Verne
Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea - Jules Verne


Of course the list of books I've read from my favorite author:

1.) Survivor - Chuck Palahniuk
2.) Choke - Chuck Palahniuk
3.) Fight Club - Chuck Palahniuk
4.) Lullaby - Chuck Palahniuk
5.) Diary - Chuck Palahniuk

(Currently reading Snuff, and so far really enjoying it)


And here is my list of books I plan on reading in the near future (opinions welcome):

Atlas Shrugged - Ayn Rand
Cat's Cradle - Kurt Vonnegut
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest - Ken Kesey
A Clockwork Orange - Anthony Burgess
Into the Wild - Jon Krakauer
The Autobiography of Malcom X - Anna Haley & Malcom X
Slaughterhouse Five - Kurt Vonnegut
The Lord of the Rings Triology - J.R.R. Tolkien
The Space Trilogy - C.S. Lewis
Invisible Monsters - Chuck Palahniuk
Rant - Chuck Palahniuk
Stranger Than Fiction - Chuck Palahniuk
Haunted - Chuck Palahniuk
Pygmy - Chuck Palahniuk
Fugitives and Refugees - Chuck Palahniuk

I am, who I am, who I am, well... who am I?

As I enter this time in life between college and a career, between leaving an old home and making a new one, a place where stereotypically a lot of 20-somethings experience a quarter-life crisis, a lack of an identity, or a forceful and sometimes failing attempt at trying to make a new one, I value certain aspects of my own personality and characteristics of just who I am that define me as a person.

I'm self-aware, self-righteous, self-deprecating, self-indulgent, self-disciplined, self-reliant, and self-absorbed. I'm obsessive compulsive; I make my bed every morning, label my play lists perfectly, color and style coordinate my closet, never leave trash in my car, organize and re-organize my DVDs; most people are surprised I don't have weird breathing exercises or count things multiple times before I can use them. I'm a neat-freak, I take at least two showers a day, wash my hands too much, and brush my teeth just as often. I'm admitably a metro-sexual, which I thank my always fashionable older sister for. I grew up a complete and total mama's boy, and consider my dad my best friend. I have a freakishly good memory, I know the words to probably over 75% of the 3500 songs on my iTunes. I graduated from Tyler Junior College in May of 2007 with an Associates of the Arts degree in Behavioral Science and from The University of Texas at Tyler with a Bachelor in Human Resource Development in December of 2009 with a 3.4, and can honestly say I did both having never studied a day in my life. I consider myself and try continuously to be well informed on political issues, yet I have never voted. I've broken hearts, and had mine broken, and know that both are likely to happen again before it's all said and done. I have no idea what I believe in religiously, and I don't think that makes me a bad person. I'd rather be honest and open than lie to myself or anyone else and be a hypocrite.I love meeting new people, but most of my best friends have been so since I was in grade school. My idols are Lance Armstrong, Michael Jordan, Chuck Palahniuk, Pete Sampras, and yes, Justin Timberlake. I don't like Christmas. I'm not the Grinch or Scrooge (or Satan) and try to ruin anyone else's, I've just never enjoyed the holiday for personal reasons and that's okay. I also hate Valentines Day. I'm an Aries, and I have no idea what that means. I'm an Organ Donor. Not sure that I have any organs anyone will want by the time it's all said and done, but if they want them then by all means take them. I've lost many people close to me too soon, and I realize that life is a precious gift. I try to live everyday to the fullest, and encourage everyone else to do the same.

I'll be 23 in a few weeks, which amazes me, but I have had an amazing life. I've traveled all over the country, met some amazing and interesting people, had some of the best friends anyone could ever ask for, gone through ups and downs, been let down by just about everyone I've ever trusted, but I'm still happy to have the people I do in my life, and to have gotten to do the things I have. I have no idea who I'll be in a year, a decade, another quarter-life, but I do know that I've been incredibly blessed, and that no matter what I'm going to have a positive attitude and be happy with the person I am. Because I always have been, and always will be, true to myself. And at the end of the day, that's really the only thing you can control.

New Beginnings

Just over a week ago, and for the past 22 years, I was a resident of the Tyler, Texas area. I had a very good life there, amazing friends, a routine, I was comfortable. I knew where everything was, what I could expect everywhere I went, what my day to day would consist of. I now, since last Saturday, live in Austin, Texas. The first time I've not only not lived in or around Tyler, but the first time I've lived completely on my own and by myself. It's an interesting transition to go through. Everyday since I've been here I've done things completely foreign to me. I explore new places everytime I get in the car. I've given change to homeless people, had my first house guests, even had my car towed. This is the most exciting new time in my life. I will always be thankful for the people and memories I left behind in Tyler, and I will never forget them. But I am so thankful to be where I am, living out my dream of moving to a place where it doesn't matter how much your parents make, or what church you go to, or what you do or don't believe in general about religion, politics, life. It makes me realize that there are so many amazing people in Tyler who aren't living to their fullest potential being stuck in a close-minded place that doesn't allow them to grow and experiment and test their own ideals and ideas on what all there is out there to see and do and experience and enjoy. And no, I'm not saying that everyone from Tyler is close-minded, because I know so many people there who aren't (like me), I'm just speaking in generalities about what most people from that area already know and most likely agree with me on, that it's not always an easy place to be when you don't naturally conform to the so-called "norm" and/or majority. So my advice to anyone who cares to hear it is don't be afraid to take risks, sometimes it's not about where you land in the end but the journey you took to get there. I have no idea what I'll be doing in 6 months, 6 days, 6 hours, but I know that I'm making the best of it with what I have. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Don't be afraid to be yourself, who you really want to be, not what you think people want you to be. Anyways, thats enough of me projecting my own thoughts onto other people. Take them for what you want. Just know that this thing we have called life is a gift and an amazing one at that, so don't waste it.

So this is the new year, and I don't feel any different

Wow. I just entered my 4th decade (born in the 80's, child of the 90's, graduated high school and college this past decade, and entering the "real world" now). I turn 23 this year. I'm a college graduate. And like most people at this quarter-life crisis point in our lives, I have no idea where I want to go, what I want to do, or who I want to do it with. But the incredible thing is, after almost 23 years, after ups and downs, after a parents divorce, after broken relationships and friendships, after everything I've been through that has brought me to where I am today, I am happy with who I am. Yes, I've made mistakes. So many I couldn't dare to list them all. But those mistakes have taught me so much about who I am, who I want to be, and who I don't want to be. So to all the people who have made this life what it is today, I thank you. Rather you helped me get here by supporting me, loving me, being there for me, or hurting me, leaving me, abandoning me, quitting on me, either way, I say thanks. I am blessed to have the life that I have, and I wouldn't trade it for the world.

I just spent a week in Colorado in the mountains and the snow, and sometimes the solitude of skiing down a mountain 15,000 feet in the air and seeing nothing around you but more mountains makes you realize that no matter how many people you have in your life, sometimes the only way to truly find contentment is through being alone. As I enter this new chapter in my life, I know that I will be bringing some people with me that have been there for almost all 23 years, and also some people that I just recently met, and I will also be leaving some people behind that truly impacted my life forever, and sure I'll miss them, but I know that everything in my life has happened for a reason, and sooner rather than later I'll be seeing just exactly what that reason is.

We only have one shot at this life, so I'm here to make the best of it. Look out world, here I come.